You are not the worst for occasionally fantasising about people other than your partner.
I reassure him that I am committed, but now those thoughts of other men flit through my mind when I say so. I’m not too worried that I’ll act on this, but every few months he worries I’m not committed to him (he has self-esteem issues). I think it’s the idea of excitement, being wanted, that has me thinking of what it’d be like to kiss someone else. I hate my job and routine, and he’s the only great thing left. He’s initiated once since Valentine’s Day, when I was in bed practically asleep! I told him “tomorrow”. He says we can tomorrow if it’s before dinner as he won’t be tired, but then he’s always busy and won’t accept help. When I initiate, he’s too tired or not in the mood. I’ve been with my partner for two years but we have barely touched each other in months from stress on both our parts. Lately I’ve been thinking about what it’d be like to cheat.